I Will Remember You
by Stochey
Summary: Cordelia and Angel are getting ready to start a life together but when an old friend brings to light some things of Angel’s past to Cordelia… will Cordelia love Angel enough to let him go? (b/a friendly)
1. Default Chapter

****

Author: Stochey

Email: navybean@texoma.net

Website: 

Title: I Will Remember You, Part 1 

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the story.

Distribution: Want it? Ask and you can have it. 

Dedication: To the late Glenn Quinn. 

Feedback: Please! I could live off the stuff!

Spoilers: You're safe if you've seen 'To Shanshu in LA' and 'Welcome to the Hellmouth'… for right now anyway.

Summary: Cordelia and Angel are getting ready to start a life together but when an old friend brings to light some things of Angel's past to Cordelia… will Cordelia love Angel enough to let him go?

Pairings: Cordelia/Angel right now… 

Notes: This is my first time ever to write C/A, mainly because the ship disgusted me but this is B/A POSITIVE! This is a B/A fic for people who really like Cordelia. So give it a chance, please? Pretty please? 

Cordelia couldn't remember a time when she'd been happier, they had stopped the apocalypse and Angel was supposed to turn human at midnight tonight, with his vampire strength and healing still intact. The Powers apparently weren't ready to lose one of their best warriors but now him and Cordelia could start a family. And all the things in the middle. Cordelia couldn't stop smiling as she flipped through her Bridal magazine in the lobby of the Hyperion. Angel had asked her to marry him when he'd found out he was going to turn human and her reply was something between a screech and a yes. Angel, Gunn, and Fred were checking out a new demon nest in the sewers. Cordelia looked at her watch for what seemed like the hundredth time. It was only 2 o'clock in the afternoon. 

"Could this day last any longer?!" Cordy said under her breath and let her head fall to the table with a bump, discouraged.

She put down the Bridal magazine and pushed herself up and started looking around the hotel to pass time as if she hadn't seen it almost every day for the past few years. It seemed that every square inch held some kind of memory whether it be a mark she swore was from her head hitting the floor during a vision, a slice from a sword or a bloodstain from a fight to the death, or where Angel kissed her goodbye earlier. 

Cordelia jumped when Angel, Gunn, and Fred came through the door carrying weapons and covered in what could only be described as demon guts. 

"I know! That was amazing when you did that flip thing and decapitated it." Fred inquired excitedly to Angel as they all sat the weapons next to the cabinet for cleaning.

"Yeah, well I guess I haven't lost my touch." Angel replied.

"Haven't lost your touch? I'd say you were definitely getting your touch on when you took out three at once." Gunn added.

Cordelia walked over to Angel.

"Rough fight?" She asked as she noticed the demon goo.

"Yeah, a little." Angel said dryly.

"Well I'm glad you're back." Cordelia said.

"Oh you are." Angel said softly as he turned to face Cordelia.

Cordelia reached to put her hands around his neck but he caught them gently by her wrists.

"Let me take a shower first." He said and gave her a sweet kiss.

"Yeah, I hear that." Gunn added and Fred nodded and all three went upstairs.

Cordelia turned to go retrieve her magazine with a sigh and was startled when she noticed Lorne was giving her a look from the doorway to the office. 

"What's the matter Lorne?"

"Nothing princess, nothing." He said almost sadly and proceeded to go upstairs to his room. 

"Hmm… wonder what's with him?" Cordelia said to herself when Lorne was out of hearing range.

"He knows." Whistler said from behind her, making her jump.

"Ya know, someday I'm going to live in a place where people make noise when they walk. Who are you? How'd you get in here? Are you a client or potential client? And who knows what?" Cordelia said.

"Wow, so much for an icebreaker. He knows what you're most afraid of but would never admit to yourself, he knows this isn't how it should be." Whistler replied.

"He's a read-your-soul demon or whatever, he knows what everyone's afraid of. What's your point?"

"I think you already know." Whistler said.

"Enlighten me."

"Let me show you."

"Why can't you just tell me?" Cordelia asked.

"You're blinded by love, you wouldn't believe me. Come with me, I can show you."

"Why would I go anywhere with you? You won't even tell me your name."

"My name is Whistler."

"Why should I trust you?"

"We have a mutual friend." He said glancing up.

"The Powers That Be?" Cordelia questioned.

"Them, and Angel." 

"I better go get Angel."

"No. There isn't time, take my hand." Whistler said extending his hand to her. Cordelia hesitated. 

"I was sent to make things right and I'm too much of a softy to do it the hard way, take my hand." He urged.

"Alright, but if this is a trick Angel is going to kick your ass." She said and took his hand.

There was a blinding flash of white light and Cordelia opened her eyes to find herself in Sunnydale in a deserted alley, which she recognized as being close to the Bronze.

"This is Sunnydale." She stated as she looked around.

"Why did you bring me here?" She asked.

"Look." Whistler said and indicated Buffy doing a handstand on a pole above the alley they were standing in. 

"Who's that?"

"Buffy." 

"Buffy? Like Slayer Buffy?"

"One and only." Whistler answered.

"What's she doing?" Cordelia asked.

"Waiting." Whistler answered simply.

Before Cordelia could ask why, a guy had walked up and Buffy had swung down and kicked him to the ground. 

"Oh my gosh, that's Angel! And wow, Buffy looks different… what is this?"

"1997."

"I don't get it, why did you take me here?"

"Shh." Whistler hushed and indicated that she should be watching what was going on.

~

"Ah, heh. Is there a problem, ma'am?"

"Yeah, there's a problem. Why are you following me?" 

****

"I know what you're thinking. Don't worry, I don't bite."

~

****

"Wow, so they haven't even met yet?" Cordelia asked.

"Correct." Whistler said, and turned his attention back to the scene in front of them, hoping she'd get the hint that she should be doing the same.

Cordelia noticed and did the same, confused and a little fascinated.

~

"Don't turn your back on this. You've gotta be ready."

"What for?"

"For the Harvest."

"Who are you?" 

"Let's just say... I'm a friend."

"Yeah, well, maybe I don't want a friend."

"I didn't say I was yours."

~

Cordelia watched Buffy take the beautiful silver cross necklace out of the box that Angel had tossed her.

"Ok, so they don't even know each others names yet and he already got her a necklace!"

"For her protection, good thing too." Whistler said.

"I still don't get it, can I go home now? Angel's going to be worried." 

"No he won't." 

"Yes he will, he loves me." Cordelia said, a little offended.

"No, I mean, we're going back in time, in the present time is stopped." 

"Right, whatever, can we go now?"

"Sure." Whistler said with a smirk.

He took Cordelia's hand and snapped his fingers. Another blinding flash of white light followed his actions and Cordelia adjusted her eyes and then sighed, frustrated that they were not in the hotel. 


	2. I Will Remember You, Part 2

****

Author: Stochey

Email: navybean@texoma.net

Website: 

Title: I Will Remember You, Part 2

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the story.

Distribution: Want it? Ask and you can have it. 

Dedication: To the late Glenn Quinn. 

Feedback: Please! I could live off the stuff!

Timeline: Would be at the end of the fifth season of Angel, Cordy awoke from her coma about a month after 'Home'.

Spoilers: You're safe if you've seen 'I Will Remember You', 'Hero', 'To Shanshu in LA', 'Surprise', 'Selfless', and 'Chosen'

Summary: Cordelia and Angel are getting ready to start a life together but when an old friend brings to light some things of Angel's past to Cordelia… will Cordelia love Angel enough to let him go?

Pairings: Cordelia/Angel right now… 

Notes: This is my first time ever to write C/A, mainly because the ship disgusted me but this is B/A POSITIVE! This is a B/A fic for people who really like Cordelia. So, give it a chance, please? Pretty please?

"Where the hell are we now?" Cordelia whined.

"Still in Sunnydale." Whistler answered.

"Argh! Look! You don't seem to be getting my point. I want to go home! And I don't care what you think you're trying to prove to me but I d-"

~

"Angel... I feel like I lost you... You're right, though. We can't be sure of anything."

"Shhh. I..."

~

"Angel." Cordelia realized as she noticed Buffy and Angel sitting on a bed, a few feet away from them.

"When was this?" Cordelia asked as all her anger was replaced by uneasiness. 

"1998, Buffy's seventeenth birthday." Whistler answered.

~

"I love you. I try not to, but I can't stop." 

"Me, me, too. I can't either." 

~

"Oh my God." Cordelia said with subtle tears in her voice as she noticed a tone in Angel's voice that she'd never heard before and realized what was about to happen.

"Don't see that look in his eyes much these days do you?" Whistler asked softly.

"Get me out of here." Cordelia demanded tearfully.

"We're not done here yet." Whistler stated dryly.

"I know what happens here, I don't need a visual! Get me out of here!" Cordelia demanded loudly, obviously upset.

Whistler looked at her sadly and snapped his fingers, which was again followed by a white light and a change of location.

"Why are you doing this?" Cordelia whined and wiped away a single tear that trickled down her cheek.

"What are you trying to prove to me?" Cordelia asked.

"Well, this is going to sound about as trite as it comes but in short: their love transcends everything, including what you and Angel have." 

"That is the biggest load of crap I have ever heard! And so obviously not true!" Cordelia justified, her tears drying up.

"How do you figure that?" 

"People change! He's over her; he's marrying me! Angel loves me, now. Plus all that stuff happened over 5 years ago and Buffy's had other boyfriends too! She probably wouldn't even take him back, not that I'm say that Angel would ask her too but-"

"Cordelia." Whistler interrupted her babbling and indicated for her to look at the scene in front of her.

~

"I killed Angel! Do you even remember that? I would have given up everything I had to be with— I loved him more than I will ever love anything in this life. And I put a sword through his heart because I had to."

~

"W-when was this?" Cordelia stuttered quietly as she noticed that Buffy looked older compared to the previous scenes.

"A little over two years ago."

"Ha. I see what this is about now. Look, I know Buffy is miss-save-the-world and all but she can't have everything she wants and the fact that she summoned you or whatever just shows that she knows Angel would never go back to her without magic or a poorly dressed little PTB lackey-"

"Hey!"

"Sorry, but you can just go back and tell her that it didn't work and also that I'm taking back her invitation because this is just low."

"Buffy doesn't know anything about this. I was sent by the Powers That Be to make you see what's right in front of you. Things aren't like they're supposed to be." 

"And just how are they supposed to be?" Cordelia asked, frustrated with the slightest trace of panic in her voice.

"One of dark, one of light. Two champions bound together by love and destiny battle the plagues of the world and eventually the final apocalypse which is only won if the champions face it together, hand in hand, heart in heart, souls bound, their love transcends the impossible." 

"What's that from?" Cordelia asked.

"A prophecy." 

"What prophecy?" Cordelia asked.

"Does it matter?" Whistler asked sympathetically. 

"Well, It could be a fake prophecy-"

"Cor-" Whistler interrupted.

"or a trick or-" Cordelia continued.

"Cordelia." Whistler said.

"Angel hasn't shown any interest in her in years! This isn't right! You can't just tell somebody that they should love someone else!" Cordelia yelled.

Cordelia's yelling is interrupted by a flash of Buffy and Angel passionately kissing in a mausoleum and then another flash followed and they were in a graveyard.

~

" Because—OK, I'm cookie dough. I'm not done baking. I'm not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I'm gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day I turn around and realize I'm ready. I'm cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat— or enjoy warm, delicious cookie me, then...that's fine. That'll be then. When I'm done."  
"Any thoughts on who might enjoy— Do I have to go with the cookie analogy?"

"I'm not really thinking that far ahead. That's kind of the point."

"I'll go start working on the second front. Make sure I don't have to use it."

"Angel. I do... sometimes think that far ahead."

"Sometimes is something."

"Be a long time coming. Years, if ever."

"I ain't getting any older."

~

Cordelia again noticed that Buffy looked almost the same as when she'd seen her last. 

"When was this?" Cordelia stuttered. 

"Last Summer."

"Last Summer?" Cordelia breathed and immediately felt as if someone had hit her hard in the chest.

"When I was…" 

"In a coma, right."

"So what? Am I just his substitute until Buffy becomes 'cookies' or some crap like that?" Cordelia yelled, shocked.

"No." Whistler said simply.

"Then what?" Cordelia asked.

"Do I not mean anything at all to him? No, no. That's not right, why would he have asked me to marry him? He loves me. He loves ME!" Cordelia babbled.

"You're right, he does love you. That's the reason we came to you instead of him is because we know he loves you and you love him." 

"Then why don't you just leave us alone!" Cordelia spat.

"I told you. This isn't how its supposed be and out of the two of you, you're less hardheaded."

"So what am I supposed to do?" Cordelia asked, freely crying now.

"Break it off." 

"No! I can't, I don't believe you. You don't even work for the Powers That Be! You're a liar! " Cordelia screamed.

"Ask Angel about me if you don't believe me. If you don't walk away from this, Angel will be the one to suffer and the upcoming apocalypses will be almost impossible to beat if they're not together. Together they are strong, alone they're dead." 

"But I love him." Cordelia whispered 

"I know you do, but do you love him enough to let him go?" Whistler asked and then touched her forehead and sent her back to the hotel. 


	3. I Will Remember You, Part 3

****

Author: Stochey

Email: navybean@texoma.net

Website: 

Title: I Will Remember You, Part 3

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the story.

Distribution: Want it? Ask and you can have it. 

Dedication: To the late Glenn Quinn. 

Feedback: Please! I could live off the stuff!

Timeline: Would be at the end of the fifth season of Angel, Cordy awoke from her coma about a month after 'Home'.

Spoilers: You're safe if you've seen 'I Will Remember You', 'Hero', 'To Shanshu in LA', 'Surprise', 'Selfless', and 'Chosen'

Summary: Cordelia and Angel are getting ready to start a life together but when an old friend brings to light some things of Angel's past to Cordelia… will Cordelia love Angel enough to let him go?

Pairings: Cordelia/Angel right now… 

A/N: I really could bring myself to like this chapter… I hope you guys do. I had to go here before I could get to where I want to be. 

Notes: This is my first time ever to write C/A, mainly because the ship disgusted me but this is B/A POSITIVE! This is a B/A fic for people who really like Cordelia. So, give it a chance, please? Pretty please?

"Cordelia? Are you ok?" Angel asked concerned.

"Oh! Uh, yeah." She answered a little blankly.

"Ok. What are you doing?" Angel asked, confused.

Cordelia noticed that he was freshly showered.

"Hmm?" She asked.

"When I came down here you were just kind of staring at that wall, standing in the middle of the room. Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah, I guess I just zoned out a little there." Cordelia laughed nervously.

"So what do you have planned for today?" Cordelia asked, relaxing a little. 

"Actually I was going to catch some sleep, I've been up all night and I need to be rested up for tonight." Angel said with a seductive smile.

"Tonight?" She asked, confused.

The word was barely out of her mouth before the past few minutes popped into her mind. Tears began sliding down her cheeks immediately. 

"Hey, what is wrong with you?" Angel asked, alarmed.

She looked deep into his eyes.

__

'I know you do, but do you love him enough to let him go?' Whistler's words echoed in her mind. 

She just couldn't do it.

"I d-don't feel well, I think I should go lay down." Cordelia said.

"Cordy, you don't cry because you feel bad! Tell me what's wrong."

"I can't talk about this, just leave me alone!" Cordelia snapped, and started up the stairs to her room.

She immediately regretted snapping at Angel, but continued to her room.

Just as she'd curled up on her bed, Angel had barged in her room.

"Have you ever heard of knocking?" Cordelia asked halfheartedly.

"Please tell me what's bothering you." Angel asked somberly and sat beside her on the bed.

"Have you ever met a demon named Whistler?" Cordelia asked.

__

'Say no, say no, please say no. He was evil, please say he's evil.' Cordelia thought desperately.

"Yeah, badly dressed PTB worker, right?" Angel asked, surprised.

__

'No!' Cordy thought, on the verge of tears.

"Do you still love Buffy?" She asked simply.

He paused.

__

'Why did he have to pause why couldn't he just have said no?' Cordelia thought.

"Why would you ask me that?" He asked, puzzled.

"Well, the fact that you still haven't answered makes me think that I had good reason." Cordelia said, surprising herself by keeping her voice steady.

"Buffy and I were over a long time ago." Angel said.

"You can remember things that happened a hundred years ago and you consider a year a long time!"

"A year? What are you talking about?" Angel asked.

"You went to Sunnydale to see her." Cordelia said accusingly, noticing the jealousy in her voice.

"Yeah, because I had something that would help her." Angel justified.

"You still haven't answered my question. Are you still in love with her?" 

"Damn it Cordy, you know I love you!" Angel said, frustrated.

"You're right, I know you love me but you still haven't answered my goddamn question!" Cordelia screamed and pushed past him.

"Buffy is always going to be a part of me, I'm sorry if you can't handle that, but I want to be with you, I am in love with YOU!" Angel yelled angrily.

"Just until she's done baking right? You're not getting any older yet are you?" Cordelia said bitterly.

Angel looked at her, truly puzzled.

__

'How could she possibly know that?' he thought.

__

'If you don't walk away from this, Angel will be the one to suffer' Whistler's words haunted her again, but this time they struck true fear into her.

She knew what she had to do, she knew she couldn't live with him knowing that there was even a chance he still loved Buffy. She wasn't sure that she could live without him either but she had to try. She could never live with herself if something happened to him that she could've prevented. 

"Cordelia, it doesn't really matter does it? I want to be with-"

"Shh… Angel, I'm sorry. I'm just, uh, tired. I really need sleep. I'll be down in a couple of hours. You go try to get some sleep. Ok?" She said reassuringly.

"Are you sure?" Angel asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Cordelia said gravely.

"I know you don't love her anymore, go sleep." She told him.

"You sure you don't want to come with me?" He asked.

"I'm good here. I'll see you later." She said, struggling to keep it together.

She pulled him into a deep kiss. He pulled back and looked at her oddly.

"Are sure you're ok?" 

"Of course." She replied.

"Ok, I guess I'll see you later then." He said.

Cordelia nodded and he continued out of the room. She laid there until she was sure he had time to get into his room.

Then she began to pack.


	4. I Will Remember You, Part 4

Author: Stochey

Email: navybean@texoma.net 

Website: 

Title: I Will Remember You, Part 4 

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the story.

Distribution: Want it? Ask and you can have it. 

Dedication: To the late Glenn Quinn. 

Feedback: Please! I could live off the stuff!

Spoilers: You're safe for this chapter.

Summary: Cordelia and Angel are getting ready to start a life together but when an old friend brings to light some things of Angel's past to Cordelia… will Cordelia love Angel enough to let him go?

Pairings: Cordelia/Angel right now… 

Notes: This is my first time ever to write C/A, mainly because the ship disgusted me but this is B/A POSITIVE! This is a B/A fic for people who really like Cordelia. So give it a chance, please? Pretty please?

Other Notes: I have to get this story out of my system and then I promise more yummy Angelus! I'll update Love's a Funny Thing and Black Eternity really soon… the next part of BE is almost done… so soon!

Dear Angel,

I'm so sorry if I'm hurting you by doing this. I never meant to cause you pain and by doing this, I hope I'm avoiding causing you more. I can't marry you now and I swear to you it is not because I don't love you! I love you more than anything, maybe that's why I'm choosing your happiness over mine. You might not have any idea what I'm talking about but I think you do. I'll never stop loving you and I just want you to always remember that but a guy named Whistler showed me some things and said you'd suffer if I didn't let you and Buffy be together and I hate her so much and I think deep down I've always thought that you still loved her and I could never live with myself if something happ

Cordelia crumpled the tearstained letter and threw it in the trash. She wiped her eyes, thought for a moment, took a deep breath and started again.

Dear Angel,

I can't explain my reasons for doing this and I'll be shot before I say something as cheesy as 'It's not you, it's me' but I'm leaving, well if you're reading this I'm already gone… please don't look for me. This isn't working for me and I don't think this is working for you either, so it'd probably be best for me to avoid the whole emotional break-up scene and just leave. If I have a vision I'll email or call Fred. I'm taking a very long vacation but don't worry, I don't expect to get paid for it. This means when I get back I still expect to have my job. Oh and don't anticipate me back for at least six months. 

PS. I had a vision and Buffy needs your help.

Toodles,

Cordy

She folded the letter, wrote 'To Angel' on it, and laid it on her bed with her engagement ring on top. She grabbed her suitcase and quietly walked out of the Hyperion. 

Thirty minutes later, Cordelia was checked into a hotel room across town.

"What are you doing here?" She asked the demon standing behind her.

"Came to see how you were, you did the right thing kid." Whistler told her.

She turned around angrily.

"If I did the right thing then why the hell do I feel like my heart stopped beating?" She screamed at him, angrily at first but then breaking down into a sob and falling onto the bed. 

Whistler awkwardly sat on the bed and put his arms around her.

"Why couldn't you just leave us alone?" Cordelia asked as she struggled to breathe in between sobs.

"You know why." He answered.

Cordelia sniffed and dried up a little. 

'I do know why, don't I? He never stopped loving her did he? Cookies… I can't think about this now.' she thought numbly.

"What was the hard way?" Cordelia asked after a few moments of silence.

"What?" Whistler asked, confused.

"You said you were too much of a softy to do it the hard way, what could've been harder than this?" she asked.

"Oh." Whistler said and stood up. 

"Are you sure you want to know?" He asked her.

She nodded.

Whistler touched her forehead and she instantly saw Angel with a tragic look on his face.

"What's wrong?" Cordelia asked, her voice cracking.

~

"I'm so sorry, Angel." Buffy said truthfully as she laid a hand on his shoulder.

~

"What's she sorry for?" Cordelia asked.

She then saw what Buffy and Angel were looking at.

~

Cordelia Chase

1980 – 2004

Beloved friend and daughter

~

Whistler brought her back to her hotel room.

"The Powers That Be wanted me to die?" Cordelia asked tearfully.

"Only if it was necessary, you're important to them too." 

"Why? Because I kept Angel warm until their precious Buffy could bake?" she snapped bitterly. 

"Do you have any idea how many lives you've helped save?" Whistler asked her.

"Angel is the one that saves lives." Cordelia said.

"Your visions are what have lead him in the right direction countless times, you're a messenger, the Powers aren't going to forget that."

"I sure am awful expendable to be a messenger." 

"You're not expendable, alright it's like this, the apocalypse can be won without you but it can't without Buffy and Angel fighting together, that's the first priority. In no other circumstance would they sacrifice one of their messengers." Whistler told her, reassuringly.

"Ok, so if I'm so important then what am I supposed to do now?" she asked.

"Do exactly what you told Angel you were going to do. Take a vacation, come back to LA in about a year." Whistler said.

"Right. I have fifty dollars in my purse, how am I going to take a vacation on fifty dollars?" 

"Oh, right. I almost forgot." Whistler said and dug into his coat pockets.

He threw a wad of hundred dollar bills onto the bed beside her.

She looked at him, shocked. 

"See ya later kid." Whistler said and disappeared. 


	5. I Will Remember You, Part 5

Author: Stochey

Title: I Will Remember You, Part 5

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the story. 'I Will Remember You' is by Sarah McLachlan, not me.

Distribution: Want it? Ask and you can have it.

Dedication: To the late Glenn Quinn.

Feedback: Please! I could live off the stuff!

Spoilers: You're safe for this chapter.

Summary: Cordelia and Angel are getting ready to start a life together but when an old friend brings to light some things of Angel's past to Cordelia… will Cordelia love Angel enough to let him go?

Pairings: C/A, W/F, and B/A

Notes: This is my first time ever to write C/A, mainly because the ship disgusted me but this is B/A POSITIVE! This is a B/A fic for people who really like Cordelia. So give it a chance, please? Pretty please?

SIX MONTHS AND EIGHTEEN DAYS LATER

Cordelia took a deep breath and walked into the newly rebuilt Caritas. She smiled when she heard a rendition of Barry Manilow's 'Mandy' being butchered onstage by a demon that couldn't have been more than two feet tall with serious hair issues.

Lorne was nowhere in sight, which was good; Cordy wasn't ready for him yet.

She quickly spotted Fred, who was frowning at the hideous creature on stage, and walked over to her table.

"Hey!!" Fred greeted her as the two embraced and then took their seats at the table.

"So how is everyone?" Cordelia asked with a smile.

"We're all good… " Fred said, pointedly taping her left hand on the table which held a fairly large diamond on it.

"Oh my gosh! Who?" Cordelia asked, grabbing her hand.

"You are looking at the future Mrs. Wesley Wyndam Price!" Fred exclaimed giddily.

"That is unbelievable! Set a date yet?" Cordelia asked, sadness tearing at her heart as she remembered how wonderful being engaged had been.

"Next Summer! You are coming right?"

"Of course! Well, I take it you and Wes are good, what are the others up to?" Cordelia asked, trying not to sound too obvious.

"Oh, um well Gunn is happy, we bought him some shiny new weapons for his birthday!"

"I bet he really liked that."

"Yeah, well until he broke some antique thingamabob and Angel… got mad." Fred said and immediately regretted bringing up Angel.

"And Lorne loves his new bar of course." Fred quickly covered before anymore could be said about Angel.

"He still lives at the Hotel but he spends most of his time here-"

"They're dating aren't they?" Cordelia interrupted.

"Who?" Fred asked, pretending not to know whom she was talking about.

"Angel and Buffy."

"Dating? No they're not dating."

"Fred…" Cordelia said, waiting for the rest of the story.

"Well, Dawn's going to school here now and it just made sense for Buffy to move in, but he still-"

"It's ok Fred." Cordelia said.

If Cordelia didn't believe Whistler before, she had to now. They were meant to be, and she was merely standing in the way of that.

"And he's human now? Completely?" Cordelia asked.

"Yeah, except for his strength and healing powers." Fred answered.

"Why did you leave Cordy?" Fred asked after an awkward moment of silence.

"I had to." She answered.

"Come back with me Cordelia, we miss you." Fred persuaded.

"No, I can't stay long, I actually came here to discuss something with Lorne." Cordelia said, sadly.

"Well, I'm sure he's around here somewhere… but you will come back someday, you said in your letter-"

"I know Fred, it's just not time yet."

"I understand."

"I really need to talk to Lorne and get going but it was really good to see you, Fred."

"You too Cordy, I'm glad I could come."

"Well since I was passing through town I thought I'd give you a call."

"Much appreciated." Fred said and then the girls stood up and hugged.

"See you soon?" Fred asked, a little unsure.

"Of course." Cordelia answered as Fred picked up her purse.

Cordelia watched Fred leave before making her way over to the bar.

"Is Lorne here?" Cordelia asked the bartender.

"Yeah he's backstage, hey Benny, she wants to see the Host, why don't you make yourself useful and take her to him." He directed, talking to another demon that was artfully rearranging the bottles of alcohol behind the bar.

Benny started to object but stopped when got a look at Cordelia.

"Sure." He said as he looked her up and down and led the way.

Cordy rolled her eyes and followed him through the noisy bar.

"Someone here to see you Boss." Benny said to a very busy Lorne.

Lorne looked up from his work and couldn't believe his eyes. They stood in shock for a moment.

"So, I take it you two know each other." Benny observed.

"You can go now, Benny." Lorne said, still in shock.

Benny left.

Lorne laid his tablet he'd been writing on down and hugged Cordelia.

"It is really good to see you kiddo!" He said.

"You too Lorne." She said as she pulled out of the hug.

"I suppose you want to know why I left?" Cordelia asked, suddenly feeling very emotional.

"Not necessary kitten, empath demon remember? I saw it coming, I wasn't quite sure you did though… what changed that day?" Lorne asked.

That's what was bothering Lorne that day, even he knew we weren't supposed to be together.

"I had a visitor, he gave me an up close and personal Buffy and Angel show, I always knew they were in love, I just never realized it was a forever kind of thing, you know?" She said with difficulty.

Lorne nodded.

"Do you see what I'm supposed to do now?" She asked sadly.

He looked at her for a moment.

"Sing for me."

The next thing Cordelia knew, she was stepping up to the microphone on the stage. She wasn't very nervous. All her emotions were focused on finding out what her path in life was supposed to be now. The bright lights came on and the music started. The bar got quiet and all attention focused on her. Cordy couldn't help but close her eyes, the lights were so bright and she desperately wanted answers. The singing lessons that her parents had bought for her in high school began coming back as she breathed from her diaphragm and started to sing.

"I will remember you

Will you remember me?

Don't let your life pass you by

Weep not for the memories"

The lyrics came out beautifully and Cordelia felt a vision beginning to materialize. It started with quiet joyful laughter of a man and a woman.

"Remember the good times that we had

Let them slip away from us when things got bad

Clearly, I first saw you smiling in the sun

Wanna feel your warmth upon me

I want to be the one"

Tears began to slip from beneath her eyelids as she heard herself sing the all-too appropriate lyrics and realized the two happy people in her vision were Angel and Buffy.

"I will remember you

Will you remember me?

Don't let your life pass you by

Weep not for the memories"

Her voice slightly strained as the tears streamed down her face. The happy couple were holding each other and getting a tan on Angel's balcony. Cordelia could feel the warm sun shining down on them.

"I'm so tired that I can't sleep

Standing on the edge of something much too deep

It's funny how I feel so much yet cannot say a word

We are screaming inside oh we can't be heard"

Cordelia couldn't help a but let a small smile form on her lips at the sight of Angel's smiling, tanned face in the sun.

"I will remember you

Will you remember me?

Don't let your life pass you by

Weep not for the memories"

She knew that the vision didn't mean they were in trouble, it was showing her that Whistler was right. It was showing her that the past six months of misery weren't for nothing, even if she didn't like the price.

"So afraid to love you more afraid to lose

Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose

Where once there was a darkness, a deep and endless night

You gave me everything you had oh you gave me life"

Her voice was holding up well in spite of the fact that she was crying. Although Buffy had everything Cordelia wanted now, Cordy couldn't bring herself to hate Buffy. All she felt was unfairness.

'Don't I deserve some sort of happiness too?' She thought as the last scene of her vision showed Buffy's content face.

"I will remember you

Will you remember me?

Don't let your life pass you by

Weep not for the memories"

Cordelia finished as the vision faded. She opened her eyes as the bar began applauding and smiled nervously. Lorne motioned her back stage. Cordelia took a deep breath and walked off stage.

She wiped her tears from her face and surprisingly noted that Lorne had tears in his eyes.

"That was beautiful Cordelia." He said with a slightly teary voice.

Cordelia just smiled sadly.

"So, what do I do now?" She asked.

"Exactly what the little guy said."

"Who, Whistler?"

"Yeah, looks to me like you still have about five and a half months left of vacation."

"Lorne, no… I can't just-"

"Cordelia, the powers have a plan for you, it's just not time yet, things will get better for you… ever been to Hawaii?"

"What?" She asked, surprised.

"Go there for a few months, go have some fun, you have months of paid vacation ahead of you!"

"Lorne, I know they have a plan for me… vision wise I mean, but what about… the other stuff, I mean if Angel isn't my soulmate, do I even have one?"

"Don't worry cupcake, the powers have a plan for 'the other stuff' too, it's just-"

"Not time yet, I know. Ok well, I guess I should go. Thanks Lorne." She said, hugged him, and turned to go.

"Hey kid, cheer up some, things will be better soon."

"I sure hope so." Cordy said sadly.


	6. I Will Remember You, Part 6

Author: Stochey

Website: 

Title: I Will Remember You, Part 6

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the story. 'I Will Remember You' is by Sarah McLachlan, not me.

Distribution: Want it? Ask and you can have it.

Dedication: To the late Glenn Quinn.

Feedback: Please! I could live off the stuff!

Spoilers: You're safe for this chapter.

Summary: Cordelia and Angel are getting ready to start a life together but when an old friend brings to light some things of Angel's past to Cordelia… will Cordelia love Angel enough to let him go?

Pairings: C/A, W/F, and B/A

Notes: This is my first time ever to write C/A, mainly because the ship disgusted me but this is B/A POSITIVE! This is a B/A fic for people who really like Cordelia. So give it a chance, please? Pretty please?

FIVE AND A HALF MONTHS LATER

"Your key Ms. Chase?"

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot." Cordy said and dug through her purse until she found the key to the place she'd called home for the past five months.

She handed the key over to her landlord.

"Here Mr. Carlton." She said and handed him the key.

"Where ya headed?"

"Home, to LA" She answered.

"Well, LA will be lucky to have you." He said with a smile.

Cordelia smiled back and continued out the door.

"Cordelia" Her landlord called after her.

She turned around.

"I hope you find what you're looking for." He said truthfully, as he thought of the unusual behavior he'd witnessed in her for such a pretty girl.

Girls like her had boyfriends, but he'd seen her turn down many nice-looking guys and she always pretty much kept to herself. She always gave off a slight 'bad breakup' vibe.

'Any guy that would give up a looker like that with such a sweet personality had to have been out of his head!' Brad Carlton had always thought.

"Thanks Brad." Cordelia said, realizing that she would miss him a little.

He was really the closest friend she'd made since she'd been in Hawaii.

He nodded and smiled; she continued out the door to her awaiting cab.

The plane ride was uneventful except for the constant uncertainty that kept telling Cordelia to catch the next plane back to Hawaii. She had made friends there, it wasn't family like she'd had at the Hyperion, but it had been nice. It would be so easy to never go back to the Hyperion again, she wouldn't have to face seeing Buffy and Angel together. She had put Angel behind her, in the romantic sense anyway; it was the only way she could survive. She was to the point now where she could be happy for him. But going back to the hotel being pretty much the only one single was not something she was looking forward to. She knew she had to go back, a part of her wanted to go back because she missed everyone so much, but the questions that would naturally come flying at her the moment she walked through the door were going to bring up all the horrible feelings that she'd spent the past year trying to put behind her.

She got off the plane, retrieved her luggage and then decided to rent a hotel room before going to see Lorne. She needed somewhere to put her luggage and just in case Lorne gave her the 'it's not time yet' speech, she had somewhere to crash afterwards while she figured out where to go from there. She still had almost fifteen thousand dollars left out of the money that Whistler gave her so she could last for a little longer.

After dropping her luggage off at the hotel, she took a cab to Caritas. It was still the same, the déjà vu when Cordelia entered was unreal, but she was different now. She wasn't going to sing another heartbreaking song for Lorne, mainly because she wasn't heartbroken, she wasn't really anything anymore, except lonely. It was barely noon there so the bar was pretty quiet.

She didn't call Fred this time; hopefully she would be able to see her and the rest of the gang in the next couple of hours and if not… Wesley and Fred's wedding was only a few short months away and she wouldn't miss that for the world.

"Can I get you something?" the bartender asked Cordelia as she took a seat at the bar.

"Diet coke, please." She answered.

"Make it on me." Lorne said to the bartender as he sat on the stool next to her.

"Right boss." The bartender answered and set Cordy's drink down in front of her.

"How ya holding up?" Lorne asked her.

"I'm fine." Cordelia told him.

Lorne gave her a knowing look.

"No really, I am fine." She reassured him and took a sip of her coke.

Lorne read the huge hopeless waves coming off of her.

"Dating anyone?" He asked.

"What's the point?" She asked quietly.

'Bingo! Read her right.' Lorne thought to himself.

"What do you mean?"

"I've been in love twice in my life, both times the Powers That Be have taken them from me. What would be the point in dating, when the Powers are just going to cause me to end up alone, anyway?" She asked, strongly and rearranged the ice in her glass with his straw.

"Who was number one?" Lorne asked.

"Well, we never really were involved and I really didn't realize I loved him until he was gone but when he kissed me… I could tell it could've been something great…" Cordy drifted off.

"But…" Lorne brought her back to reality.

"He died… saving me and Angel and a lot of other innocent demons…" Cordelia said.

"What was his name?" Lorne asked.

"Doyle." Cordelia said.

A few moments of silence passed.

"I want to go back to the hotel, I'm ready." She said, looking Lorne in the eye.

"Are you sure? Buffy and Angel have been pretty tight lately. Are you sure you can handle that?" Lorne asked her.

"I'm not saying its going to be easy, but I miss being there with you guys. I used to dream of getting away from all the death and evil and vampires and things but I miss fighting. I miss making a difference… I miss having…" Cordelia got quiet.

"You miss having someone." Lorne finished for her.

"After Doyle died, I thought there was no way I could ever love anyone like I loved him and I was right. It was so different with Angel but it was still… real. Ya know?"

"Yeah I know." Lorne answered, listening to her words and the coming bomb that the Powers were fixing to drop on her.

"You told me that everything would be ok, that the Powers would take care of the dating stuff to but I just don't see how I could even begin to get close to someone new." Cordelia reasoned.

"I never said anything about 'someone new'." Lorne replied with a smirk.

"Ok well I know you don't mean Angel because if you do I will smack you! I could never do that to him or Buffy! Not to mention the past year has been about getting over him! I don't even w-" Cordelia started, angrily.

"Cordy, I don't think its Angel they're talking about." Lorne interrupted.

"If the name Xander comes out of your mouth I swear-"

"I thought you'd only been in love twice?" Lorne questioned.

"That only leaves Doyle and they can't set me up with him… that's impossible." Cordelia thought out loud.

"Is it really princess? Guess I made the trip for nothin' then." And Irish voice said from behind her.

Cordelia spun around on the barstool and gasped.

"Oh my God, Doyle!" Cordelia exclaimed, more shocked than she'd ever been in her life.

"One and only." He said as his lips descended upon hers and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Lorne smiled.

"Hey kids, I don't need this PDA in my bar, go get a room." Lorne said jokingly and turned to leave.

Cordelia silently thanked whatever made her get a room before coming here as tears erupted from her eyes.

"Oh and take a few months for yourselves, you two deserve it." Lorne added before leaving.

Doyle cupped Cordelia's face as she cried.

"How?"

"Someone up there seems to like you." Doyle said with a smile and kissed her again.

The End!

Note: Thats the end of I Will Remember You but I will eventually write a sequel where Cordelia and Doyle go back to the hotel for Fred and Wesley's wedding. So stay tuned!


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